THE END OF THE STORY

 

END OF MY STORY

This has been my story 

I could not sing it

I wish i could

Ahmet Cafer Celebiler

Otherchelebi

December 13, 2023

IDENTIFICATION

 IDENTIFICATION

    Parents and police

identify children

and culprits

guilty by location

by skin color

by ethnic background

by religion

by age

by profession

by education

and definitely

by selfish self

people identify

themselves

by birth

by wealth

by mistakes

by ignorance

by psychosis

by greed

by envy

by anasognosia

and places seen and not seen

thoughts thought 

and ignored

feelings felt

and dismissed

And

unhappiness

and

regret

and parsimony

and

desire

to be someone else 

anyone else

but not a child

or a culprit

or

a self

any self

Ahmet C. Celebiler

11 december, 2023

33 DEVİR PLAK

 

DEVİR

Küf devri

Kokusu depodan çıkan plaklarda

rutubetli takım elbiselerde

toplanıp özensizce saklanan

deniz taşları

ve kabukları

ve 

hatıralarında

mesleklerini hatırlayan 

değişiklik görmeyen

gören

değişiklik istemeyen hayatlarda

bozulmayan

bozulsa bile dönmeyi sürdüren

plakların 

dünyayı tanımlamasında

hep var olan 

buz

ve mutsuzluk tabakalarını aşan

güneş ışıkları ile

fotosentez sürdürebilen

yosun ve küf

insanların içlerinde de gelişiyor

ahmet cafer çelebiler

4 aralık, 2023

Pleistocene

 PERSONAL PLEISTOCENE

Britannica writes: 

"Pleistocene Epoch = Ice Age, Climate Change, Extinctions"

Ice age 

in terms of my feet

climate change

for all

Extinctions for many 

soon to inlude me

My last epoch and those before

were lived fully

happily and sadly

never thirsty or hungry

never in needs perceived

never in greed 

and

desire unfulfilled 

and obeisance

or obedience

Did the sabre tooth

or mammoth

feel regret 

and belief in life everlasting?

even in animations 

of drawings 

and even in fulminations 

of their more recent

reincarnations 

as us

So many sinned (with glee) 

and righteousness

              against me and each other

the concept lost meaning

my judgement replaced 

any and all divine judgements

and their applicability 

to my personal pleistocene.

The worlde is not predictable

pleistocene may be followed

or not followed

by any epochs similar to the eld

or totally new

but with no improvement

to feeling or thought

or compassion

or peace 

hate and greed

unless a totally new 

and

so far anforeseeable 

life replaces 

to improve existence 

and imagination

and arts

and crafts

and self 

and selflesness

Ahmet cafer celebiler

December 2023

SCHMOOZE

 

Gossip

One of my cats

loves to schmooze

silently

at times

guttural sounds also

these activities

may end

in throwing up

showing

dissatisfaction

with present company

or nourishment provided

edible or emotional

My wife also

loves to schmooze

and be dissatisfied

but refrains from

unlady-like sounds

and tiny physical

volcanic eruption

of differnt types

and 

it is I

who slinks by

guiltily

hoping for 

recognition

befitting

a gallant knight

Ahmet Cafer Celebiler

30 November 2023

SYMBIOSIS

 

Plants attract

humans attract 

others

of their own

sometimes of other

species

simbiotes are not always alien

or parasitic

or commensalistic

even mutual

yet predation 

of flesh

and mind

appear 

in all symbiotic relationships

nuptial

and political

and business

unawares

or 

consensual

the threat

or act

of violence

disregarded

evident

or secret

but of benefit

as can be perceived

by all

individuals

and groups

as they all 

live and die

with and without pain

Ahmet Celebiler

29 November, 2023

HOUSE OF MIRRORS

 

Subterfuge

legerdemain is a favorite of children

simpletons

lovers

politicians

sellers and buyers

in the marketplace

of money and beliefs

and absolutes

rulers

and the ruled

sudden

and timeless

told in books

and narrated

in songs

of spiders

and 

scarabs

who do not 

resemble 

you or me

Ahmet cafer celebiler

25, November, 2023

ZARARSIZ

 

ÇİTLENBİK

yeni kullanımları 

sabun

sağlık

yiyecek

ve

akrabası

veya

lakabı

menengiç

hatta

bittim

yağsızı ise 

çocukluk hatıralarında kaldı

düdük

patlangaç

zehirsiz

zararsız nefesli ok

Amazon yerlisi

silahı olmadan 

oyuncaksız yılların 

oyma uygunu

kabukları soyulabilen

el becerisi 

hocası 

ve keşif

ve icat 

bilgesi ağaç

ve

az ile yetinme

ve

tevekkül 

öğrenme

yaşama

dünyasına giriş

Ahmet cafer Çelebiler

22 Kasım, 2023

GREED

 

WHEN SUPPLY FALLS VERY SHORT OF DEMAND

ages ago

while

the demand for 

fire

stone

 bronze 

and iron

vied with that for food

quantities of love

udiscovered

were not mined

hence 

violence and hate

were the issues 

and topics of cnversation

offense and defence

ruled those ages

yet people carved

living stone was evidence

of appeasement

love and affection

unbeknownst

fawning and

flattery 

as art

with odes 

for urns

obeisance

and servility

mined 

from never depleted sources

within easy reach

inside us and them

and all

One ore

in use

greed

never expired 

or diminished

though

used through all ages

through

faith

belief

teaching

example

and thereof

lives

that show and tell

in fog

behind curtains

gestures

moans

giggles

sightless eyes 

and senseless senses

Ahmet cafer Celebiler

20 November, 20123

A CHAT WITH HAMDULLAH EFENDI

 

Note: A cousin brought to my attention a research paper from Erzurum University on my great grandfather.

 A Vestige of the 19th CENTURY

it seemed like only yesterday

a bearded man 

requirement of his post and status 

sat crosslegged 

on a divan 

armrests carved

older visible covering frayed

his life and dreams 

of events and people 

solidly in handwritten books

printers and paper only of a single dimension

memories and stories 

beyond time. 

a need to tell

a desire to share

beyond a monologue lonely

or a soliloquy on the stage

fragments all

appearing

and losing their way

in two and a half 

even three continents

reaching me

for  my gaze 

and for my thoughts

silently

but visibly

I see and hear him

wishing that 

that could be

for him as well.

ahmet cafer celebiler

November 14, 2023

CONVERSATIONS

 

REMEMBERING ASURBANIPAL

Do you think he was a just ruler?

for his time

for his empire

for posterity

I asked 

as we floated

on clouds of all shapes

kingdoms

and chimeras

and loved ones

As emperors go

did he have better advisers

more books of learning

and

methods and means of destruction

no matter the race,

or colour

or creed

even when

he gained nil

for himself

and maybe less

for his progeny

with no names 

and stations 

but with large numbers

of concubines

female or male

and hunters, 

human and animal

Ahmet C. Celebiler

November 13, 2023

AB&B for Cats

 

Free Room & Board

slow rain

means

royal reign

in the house

each bed

and armchair

and pillow

a throne becomes

warm

also soft

proximity

to food savory and 

caresses delicate

fresh linen

but no tissue 

to wipe running nose

and tears of joy

Ahmet Cafer Celebier

October 18, 2023

TURNING AN OLD PAGE

 

Turning an Old Leaf

the new newspaper I receive daily

these days

has a ninth and tenth page

unlike others

that you wish to separate

by thumb and nail.

to discover 

all the hidden news

and funnies

and ancient

and modern

wisdom

but the thick

thicker than others page

is just one page

and has no portal

or passageway

to other realms

so far

yet 

i am hopefull

that one tiresome day

will be the day

that reveals a new page

once secreted away

and

i will start reading

all the stuff

which were denied 

without commitment

or sin

or 

even wonder 

as discoveries may not always bring

ahmet c. celebiler 

Oct.13, 2023

MINGLING OF AURAS

 

Came and sprawled

warm

next to my beating heart

for love

or only for the heat

of free comfort

no strings attached

checked that it was I

fingertips drawing shapes 

on my arm

I muttered

and then whispered

but snubbed

the twitch of eyes

and the blinks

were enough though

as signs go

and i felt 

warmed

wishing

it would last 

many days 

and such

ahmet c. celebiler

October 8, 2023

NOT BEING

 Not Being Earnest

is not unearned rest

being there

rather than here

is not a conundrum

birds fly 

directionless

without greed

or hate

or hunger

thirst has no say in the matter

nor survival

it is simple arithmetic

multiply

just multiply

here and now

also there and then

ahmet c. celebiler

September 3. 2023

GRAVITY IS ADVISED

 

All Joking Aside

when fiends

of faith

and piercings of daith

skewer

with lances

or

ordinances

omens

tell

to look out

for 

gravitational

deportment

or momentous

significance

just

to be 

on the safe side

ahmet c. celebiler

October 2, 2023

HOW IS COSMOLOGY RELATED TO OUR COSMOS

 WHY YOU SHOULD NOT BELIEVE 

my parent were fundamental believers

in the rudiment

else was extrinsic

and

if they were not always happy

it was not for the eccentricities

thrust upon them 

by the mighty

and 

the not so mighty

Odin and Zeus notwithstanding

A nebula or Perseus 

were 

as obvious as sin 

and time

as dark as lights 

of invisible stars

until science 

and telescopes

mightier than the mighty

pointed a finger

or

a ray

to disrupt the seen

and 

the unseen

confusing chaos

It is now

a time to wonder

of pyramids everywhere

and the henges

and the concentric pillars

closing your eyes

and 

feeling

like fathers and mothers

who had so much vision

and 

the ideas of many a cosmos

real

and less real

as reality goes

Ahmet cafer Celebiler (Otherchelebi)

September 7, 2023

Just two short periods before 79th birthday

CULTURES AND ORGANISMS

 Cultures and Organisms

Culture : "the act or process of cultivating living material (such as bacteria or viruses) in prepared nutrient media"

Organism : " a complex structure of interdependent and subordinate elements whose relations and properties are largely determined by their function in the whole.

On the whole

organisms

belong to a culture

and

cultures

are sampled

and sifted 

organisms

neither have

arts and philosophies

real metamorphoses

only

the commonest

boring

endlessly repeating

psychological 

perspectives

values

and 

sociological 

behavior

not even at the level

of hives 

and even clumps of chives

which do not 

popularize greed or grief

in their attempts to survive

their universe.

ahmet cafer celebiler

September 3, 2023

WORMS HAVE REAR VIEW CAMERAS

 

Rear Views

Humans who

swear that

they can see

have no rear view

they cannot change direction

like a worm in its hole

cannot lead to

alternate realities

alternate futures

any alternates

alternate pasts are more common

to the blind or blinkered

piddling imagination

wishful thinking ancienne

and memory borrowed

are required

but only if moderated

consulted

and argued

through lenses

for selfy shots

ahmet cafer celebiler

otherchelebi

August 29, 2023

EXPECTATIONS AND APPEASEMENTS

 

Expectations and Appeasements

wishes and prayers

even sacrifices

go unnoticed

or get dismissed

when hunger imminent

and 

unintended

seeks 

nay,

demands 

amends

and settlement

 pulse and pressure

nomore 

a rhythm of 

poise and pleasure

ahmet c. celebiler
25 August, 2023

APPRAISALS

 

Appraising Subjective Values

I learned

at a very early age

to appraise values

of people

and things

even people as things

or

things as people

by their use

to me

obviously

but

also to themselves

and each other

although 

things are not aware

of their values

to each other

and people replace 

their own values

with recorded

and booked

values

believing 

that books of charts

to be consulted

and wise men

and not so wise men

tell

depreciation ratios

to 

believers

and even apply them

to unbelievers

It is a time and space game

of accounts and records curved

and very gravitational  

radiating particles

which

make up few 

or many

as the case may be

or

seems to be

Ahmet Cafer Celebiler

August 16, 2023

 

OPENING AND CLOSING DOORS

 

DOORS IN MY HOME

All the white doors 

must be painted

matching hues of hopes

of adventures

mysteries 

in spaces beyond

escapes and escapades

expectations of else

new and diferent

than life lived

in spaces of times lived

no more white doors

already one yellow and one blue 

not yet dry

so far same spaces

behind 

even for the tired mind 

yet

when all different coulours are there

there will be hope of 

special places

uncharted 

weak-eye awakening

and

achy-leg stretching

for wondering

all new wonderings

of all the colours 

and hues

Ahme Cafer Celebiler

August 14, 2023

FEAR OF SITTING

 

Sitting 

a rocky mountain bear

or

an indian holy 

but 

not waiting

not blest

yet 

aware

of mountain cold and indian spice 

Ahmet C. Celebiler

August 8, 2023

A PROGENITORS DELUSIONS

 

GRAND CHILDREN

I stay calm

hiding feelings alien

appearing halcyon 

thinking thoughts unknown

not hoping for signs

nor signatures

but manifestations

of love and fun 

and relevance

in the bounces

and sleeps and the wonders 

discovered

and rediscovered

by children

and theirs

all mine

not at all removed

to be watched

near or far

through space

and time

and thought

and dream

and life

Ahmet Cafer Celebiler August 7, 2023

A Convoluted Dream

 

Convoluted Dream 

serpentine dreams

do not have snakes 

only a few reptiles

archaic and protoplasmic

In dreams

creature depictions are not zoological

even when anfractious

as kin and lovers can be

Dreams of lives

lived and transmogrified

at dawn or murky dusk

are mute and silent

So said the ancestor

in a dream 

of someone else

loudly

as I recall 

and wish 

it were my own dream

bereft of monsters and ghosts

not subject

to plunder 

by greedy 

venomous 

coils of energy

abrupt

and fearsome

though spineless 

Ahmet C. Celebiler

July 30, 2023

UNCERTAINTY

 

Uncertainty and Humans

Heisenberg new his stuff

albeit uncertainly

why humans acted out

his principle 

daily, even hourly

unbeknownst to physicists

delving in things

spatial

or temporal

and not at all

related to

belief

or faith

in marriages of all sorts

of relationships 

cultures, ethics and morality

all very coincidental

and not scientific

but with half lives

in the verbal

the oral

and the formal 

utterances and visions

of mortals

reaching for immortality

Ahmet C. Celebiler

27 July, 2023

GUIDED EXCURSIONS

 

Sponsored Excursions

There are invisible and sometimes uninformed fearful ones.

Last four months or so we were their charges.

The excursions included:

as far as I can remember,

six emergency room, operating and intensive care hospital rooms

four check up visits to same (?) hospitals

in Istanbul, Iznik, Bursa and Kocaeli.

The conveyance was the worst and most uncomfortable tour vehicle,

four trips with an old and unmaintained ambulances, some on potholed roads or those with speed traps.

two of them lasting over two hours each.

Sometimes on possibly scenic routes

some through dense traffic.

Fourteen doctors, twenty two nurses cleaning staff and nurse aids, young ones, unhapy ones, some talkative some with gazes that hurt more than their vein searching needles were present to miss medicine, argue with meand leave me alone to suffer the agony of defibrillator shocks.

I was mostly kept in the dark except for the TAVR doctor, who was lovely, informative and who hugged me after the operation saying "congratulations to both of us." he was soaking wet with sweat after the five hour procedure. My subsequent echo cardiograms showed that he had done a terrific job,preventing any possible leeks despite the raggedly calcium caked aortic valve. 

A number of doctors at two hospital said I needed an ablation in addition to the existing defibrilator. the profesor who had placed the pace maker also believed them.

Until, I was stretched on the operating table with no sedation or anesthetic, wondering if I can escape into madness during the four or five hour ablation. They made use of my unresisting body to start with an angio. AND THEN, WONDER OF WODERS, I had a stay of exeution with the three cardiologists consulting and deciding that I did not really need the ablation proedure.

It took me about six hours to finally remove the sand bag on the groin, eat some more of the horrible hospital food, missed that day's meds totally and leave waving invisible flags of cheer with Eser driving the solid feeling but bumpy SUV to the home I could barely remember.

It has been almost three weeks, two restaurant visits, A japanese and a Chinese, both excellent, to get the taste of the hospitals, their people and their foods from my mouth.

Panic attack and fear of loud noises reminding of me of defibrallor shocks, some comforting massages and the ability to send Eser to our Iznik home to be with all our gradchildren got me writing again in expectation of some new adventures and travels after September.

Ahmet Cafer Celebile

July 18,2023

AN UNDESIRED TOUR

 

ARRANGED COMPULSORY HOSPITAL TOUR

there comes a time

some times

more than once a lifetime

losing control

losing sense of time

forgetting aspirations

forgetting preferences

learning to enter a non-Einsteinian space time continuum

to gravely move towards a what

with no knowledge 

of anything

carried on a current of dreams

not divinely prescribed guilts, regrets

and someone else's memories

centered on the heart, or brain, 

or even the urinary or

digestive system 

at an age which was never meant or understood

on the way to a sleeping unknown

pleasant in itself

woken up with 

the unmelodious chanting of one's name

and a shaking of body parts

uncontroled intrusions

into the body and the fantasy

and a noisy and rocky ride to an unwated location

where the attendants 

trained in care 

mostly their own

follow someone's instructions

the instructor does not provide reasons

the logic of which is not dispensed

unvoluntary subject sees only

holy baubles in plastic or glass 

not a clinical or divine trial

a part of many inpersonal unwanted scripts 

thrust on the body and the mind

telling that they may be repeated

once or more

and to become

chaos 

unplanned feelings, thoughts

and activities 

thrust upon

and mandatory

salvation or not

maybe only a vision murky

of things to come 

all within a suddenly seen black hole

full of time crystals 

that are you

and everyone you ever knew 

or read about

and dreamt.

Ahmet Cafer celebiler

July 18, 2023

 

AN AUCTION NEVER ENDING

 

The auction

heard as less than a whisper

for the relic 

trying to hear the bid

making up

its own stories

of glorious pasts

paths and rewards

again the auction closes

the relic left lone

on an end table

not a pedestal

not warded with a sticker

left with a shuffle

 brouhaha days in 

the steps footprinted in days

weeks, months and years

another unsold sign

another ache ached and almost forgotten

no procession

no pyre

packaging almost intact

although with surplous wear and tear

ahmet celebiler

May 17, 2023

 

IT ALWAYS ENDS

 

beginnings 

also have endings

attached

detached

at some point

for all

at some stage

in victory

or succes 

and happily

in misery

around the corner

or light years away

Ahmet cafer celebiler 

April 11, 2023

A REFUTATION

 

Mysteries Have Short Lives

Solving self

solving other selves

life's chore

sometimes ecstasy

at times misery

finally 

infinity

no branches

no way stations 

no getting off

for a whiff

or leg stretch

an ever unwritten memoir

ACC  April 1, 2023

IN THE MIDST OF A CONTINENTAL DRIFT

 

CURRENTS OF AGE 

A paper and metal collector 

rolls his crooked wheels

bangs with a stick 

on a municipal receptacle

to scare the rats 

and the sleeping

insomniacs 

just about midnight

dreamers of royal past

or waiting for start of fast

including an older man

who shuffled his feet 

standing at a windy square

the wind and the square and the man

all nondescript

noone passes 

noone senses

the despair also drifting towards the sea

which strokes the misery with tiny waves

and the reflected lights

despite the slowly sinking ego once strong and colorful

Not knowing Respect

But Owning One's Own Respect

not to be squandered 

in life

in death

or on a visit 

overstayed its welcome

to join all the other lost boys and girls

and their stories 

not on earth

or paper

or a cloud

or an idling memory cell

drifting on a continental shelf

Ahmet Cafer Celebiler

Otherchelebi

March 27, 2023

IMMATURE METAPHYSICS

 

Metaphysical Nature

(from Spectrum, literary magazine of Robert College students, p.22, 1963)

trying to overpower

an urge inside

gnawing at the brain

                          and ear

and holes in my shoes

Numbness increasing

small worlds

white ones

falling on the shoulders

then disappearing        

                       in wetness

melting me

to my foundations

of nothingness

Maybe a ghost

of the past

             or the future

conceiving

infinity

Ahmet Celebiler,

December, 1963

Nature starts, Man exacerbates

 Another View of the Last Eartquake

Human aggravation

that leads to panic

may be cause of civil attacks

of disobedience

no surcease

 in augmentation by belief

intensification 

by lack of action

after a collapse too many 

heart and body and abode 

a tent or hut 

on tremolous tremblous

but

molecularly solid

sinew and vengeance

calling out the dust

of space

and 

locus

in human archeology

yet not anthropology

due for a new epic

a paean centuries long

millenia short

sensing sense 

and maybe also nonsense.

ahmet c.    celebiler  

feb, 9, 2023

MY WIFE

 

A UNIQUE QUEEN AND A STANDARD PARTNER

reigning over a realm

she built with imagination and thought and belief

all subject

to being carried forward

as in simple arithmetics

to be added or subtracted to a consort

of flesh and blood 

and sometimes even a mind

never a convoy but a single vessel

shaped over words over words

not undeciphered and comatose

always surely simply known 

as simple as bound

and destined 

to be whittled 

from a mould that needs new touches

by masters of medicine

revered and trusted

to be artists of mouldings and whittlings.

ahmet cafer celebiler

January 17, 2023

MARRIAGE FOR SENILES

 

ONE OF THOSE THINGS

Marriage can be

too much and too many

for you and me

when its half-life 

passes mid-point

after mid point

and

new auras

hit aged joint using another joint

an unspoken feeling

of something

kept 

in hampers

and boxes

and suitcases

even carry-ons

all at once

gaining weight 

and weakened tendons of thought

or feeling

wish to let go

of thoughts and feeling

not fully forgotten

yet fusing with seniority

and age which is beyond 

a  period piece

hung loosely on an eroding wall

with some crooked nails

previously used

to secure solid crates of secrets

divulged time after time

to become as trite

as love

and fun

ahmet the Roo cafer Celebiler

January 16, 2023 (one more time before a remaining jump)

Bir Zamanlar Ben

 

SANRI

aradığını bilmez çoğu insan

sevmeyi, sevilmeyi

anlamayı, anlaşılmayı

affedebilip, affedilebilmeyi

sonra bulduğunu sanır

sanmaz

samanlıkta toplu iğne ihtimali düşüncesiyle

bırakalım sansınlar

sevsinler

affetsinler

anlasınlar

Bizlerden olsunlar

Ahmet cafer çelebiler 15 Ocak, 2023

COLLECTABLES

 

Collecting and Preserving

Winds 

and the whiffs they carry

persons

their crafts 

and the poses they pose

girls

smiling and sad

and their symbolic symmetry

stamps

loose and booked

pasted and posted

coins

with prayers scribbled

preciuous for owners penurious

Lines, stanzas, words

phased in and out

with significance perfunctory

Slopes, hills

dips and drops 

for walking

and running and falling

parts of the collected worlds

climes and places

disposed within my spaces

Ahmet cafer Çelebiler

January 15, 2023

SURVIVAL

 

IS THIS A COST-BENEFIT THEORY OF HUMAN ENDEAVOR?

Survival depends on the value given to people and creatures and natural and unnatural, real and surreal, and imaginary and dreamt things and events. Hence, it is subject to the ideas, wills, activities, beliefs, knowledge, values and works and art of people who are titled by class, academic subject, wealth, kinship, race, color, religion, history, geographic location and fictional and nonfictional writings, literature or not.

Those who survive are subject to disease, age, greed, enmity, violence, crime, ridicule, memory discoloration, the exposure to elements and what some faithfully call fate. And naturaly, both space and time and their various curvatures.

Ahmet celebiler *the C

January 14, 2023

ALL THAT I COULD NOT TAKE WITH ME

 

MEANING OF MEMORABILIA

I have much of too much

must try to charter a freighter

to sweep load 

all the deadweight

in all the time I have left

hidden in cacti pots

rice 

and kernel corn

which to carry

collections obvious

and collectibles

invisible and indivisible

stamps,

minted metal

printed paper

a fountain of pens 

thoughts thought and kept

poems posted and disbursed

schooled lines with loves and lives

illustrated people and parchment

porcelain stronger than metal

pictures of fairy lands when fairies lived

animals when they ran and crawled and purred

streets for walking and stumbling

pathways for choosing

metaphors almost always metamorphosed

times wished

times wished for all

and everyone

without history

or antiquity

always ever

and ever always

ahmet cafer celebiler

January 11, 2023

PUZZLES MUST BE SOLVED

 

pUZZLES

and then there was a conundrum

not even a smile from ages middling

few saw it as a dilemma

though the Sphinx deeply felt

and the cyberpunks dreamt

there came a meddling kid

aged only six 

saw 

and was not perplexed

he had kin ultra crepidarian

and marshmellow textured

and a menagerie of push and pull mes

was part of waking dreams

flying on the Phoenix

a friend of the Sphinx

and all the scarabs

gleaming 

gleams well worth 

their reflections and places

in not yet discovered universes

not so far away from yours

my love, my darling.

ahmet 

January 2023