Graduate Class Notes for the Kindermine at their Craft

 

How Philosophy Came to Being

CHAPTER 1 Introduction

Before we tackle this simple subject let me remind you that you should definitely ignore the rumors and the false testimony that philosophy has always existed even by mortals of limited life and intelligence span.

A large number of believers in supreme beings of variable powers over humanity, other creatures, world affairs, solar system affairs and everything visible by telescopes of the most magnificent magnification, and their spokesmen, and their assigned servants are quick to declare that philosophy was created at the same time as everything else was created. This belief does not negate the belief that a supreme being can create another supreme being as his progeny and in his image. That is how it is written with indelible fruit and vegetable pigments and snake venom on timeless, unperishable media parched by the dust of meteors, which were later reproduced subliminally in the dreams and thoughts of wise men who prepared themselves for this  mediatic information transfer by using copious amounts of myrrh and a little frankincence to overome any possible myrrhadiction.

All the different parched ments and the divergent but still factual facts passed through clean and sane wise men confused all those who followed them and wished to believe in their versions of the pigments which had mostly faded by the time a few millenia had passed, so that the wise and the unwise could only perceive two colours, white and black.  

The result was a great deal of argument and strong language, fisticuffs, show of and other use of organs, until one or more supreme beings interfered to calm down the kerfufle with the creation of ethics and morality, and realizing that the ignorant masses follow the wise in perceiving only white and black, they planted a strong message in the minds of all their followers that white represented good and black was just another adjective for bad. There followed new adjectives and adverbs, even nouns like evil and phrases like 'goodness me' and 'a curse on you' or it is a sin to fornicate, to further confuse humanity.

The all powerful and all knowing and all everything gods, having managed to bring humanity to this situation, felt that it was time to create PHILOSOPHY so that the thinkers who could observe more colours could think and argue separately from the hoi polloi whose color sense and artistic perception were weakened by too much exposure to only white and black.

CHAPTER 2.